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blame_my_muses
07 May 2012 @ 02:09 pm


I started writing this blog entry while I was still riding in the car on my way back to Michigan from backpacking in the Smoky Mountains. I’d never been backpacking before, and maybe I was a bit overly ambitious, because my legs are KILLING me, but now I’m absolutely hooked. We hit part of the Appalachian Trail (a very small part, mind you) on one of our overnight hikes, and stayed in one of the shelters…4,900 feet up in the mountains. There were quite a few guys up there who were doing the whole AT, and they were super friendly.

In any case, I now have the backpacking bug! I might have to put my costuming hobby aside for a while, or at least severely cut back, so I can buy some decent gear. I was using my dad’s old backpack…and considering it’s older than I am, has spent the better part of the past 25 years in the basement, and was WAY too big for me, I’m really going to need to get my own pack. I’ve been making lists of important things, necessary items, and good ideas since day one of hiking. Possibly most important, is that I had an awesome idea for what to do with my future, once I have a degree in anthropology. I’ve made up my mind to do some sort of ethnographic survey of the people who walk the AT. That’s all I have so far—that vague, half-plan—but for now that’s good enough. I have at least two years or so to iron out the details…and figure out how to get funding. lol. I feel like it’s a very interesting sort of person who decides to set out on such a journey, and even in just on my one night on the AT, it was apparent that the people came from diverse backgrounds, and from all over the world. Plus, it’d be a great excuse to walk the whole trail, myself. Lol.

My legs are just starting to feel human again, after the crazy amount of walking, but I’m already trying to plan some weekend hiking trips for this summer, and maybe a longer one in the Porcupine Mountains later on, with my dad and my sister.

<3
~Kallen
 
 
blame_my_muses
19 September 2011 @ 07:37 pm
This is why I don't join clubs.

This is why I don't do team sports, or hang out with people outside of class, or join forums and chatrooms.

Because no matter how hard I try, how much effort I put forth or don't, I always walk away from such encounters feeling...somehow less than I did when I went in. I always end up feeling small, and unwelcome.

My problem, I think, is this: I am an overly enthusiastic academic. I don't like subjects. I love them. Or, I loathe them. There is rarely an in-between.

One of the subjects that I love, is Japan. Anything Japan. Pop media to ancient history, I am interested in it all. I love the food, am curious about their taboos, want to study the language again, find their humor humorous.

So, when I walk away after the first Japanese Culture Association meeting feeling putdown...well, there's something wrong with that. And no matter how much I try to convince myself that it wasn't personal, wasn't meant as an attack of any kind, the fact remains that I feel, as usual, excluded. This is supposed to be college. That sort of narrow-mindedness has no place on an university campus!

I'm right, really. It wasn't personal. I know that, I really do. But when I'm trying to contribute to your dwindling group discussion, even though my experience was in Taiwan, not Japan, your "Well, I meant people who had been on exchange in Japan," really......well, it was kind of a slap in the face, I'm not gonna lie. No, I'm not enrolled in a Japanese language course (yet), I'm taking Chinese. No, I haven't spent a year in Japan (I spent it in Taiwan). No, I am not the president of the JCA (wouldn't want to be). But for someone with senior standing, and who is supposedly an experienced member of the club which--by your own admission--didn't do too hot last year, I would expect a more welcoming attitude, not one that is so careless and injurious.

I wanted to go to Japan. You have no idea how long I've wanted to go. There are times I want to go so badly that it hurts, physically, to know that I can't just hop on a plane and do it.

Since I was nine.

Since I was nine years old, I have not only known that I wanted to go to Japan, but have had specific locations chosen. How many ten year olds in the U.S. know that Kyoto was the old capital of Japan? For that matter, how many know that the modern capital is Tokyo? I did, and I wanted to see them both. I wanted to see shrines, wanted to ride the subway, wanted to play at the park with the stone dinosaurs, wanted to visit the Odaiba Convention Center. Since before I was in double digits. While I was busily planning my imaginary itinerary, Miss Japanese Association President, I bet you were still blissfully unaware of even the idea of Japan. Most ten year olds have a very loose grasp on the concept of "foreign culture" unless they've grown up in one, or have otherwise experienced multiculturalism.

So, to have that verbal slap in the face, at the very first meeting, after I had already been unimpressed with your shrinking, meek, submissive posturing, your utter lack of organizational skills, your annoying habit of trailing off mid-sentence into mumbling, and your snobbery and absolute egotism regarding another student while he was absent from the room...

Well, I don't know if I'll be going to next week's meeting.
 
 
My emotions tell me that I feel: aggravatedaggravated
 
 
blame_my_muses
30 August 2011 @ 07:51 pm
It's my third year of college, but my first year away from home for college, and--two days into the semester--I am loving it. ^..^

I'm an Anthropology major, with a minor in East Asian Studies. I don't have a terrible class load, this semester, at least. :) Four classes, three towards my major, one towards my minor. Origins of Civilization, History of Anthropological Theory (how's that for a mouthful!?), Masterpieces of Japanese Literature, and Chinese 101.

When I mentioned to my teacher that I had lived in Taipei for a year (she's Taiwanese!), she wanted to know why I didn't start with 201, or anything higher than 101. Thing is, it's been five years, and I've forgotten some ridiculously basic vocabulary. I would be uncomfortable starting with a higher level, and I figured that, since my classes in Taiwan were so inadequate (trying to teach us the Beijing accent, wtf??) that starting over with the basics would, at the very least, be a good refresher course.

I'm really bad at updating this journal...

I'll try to be better at it, but I really don't know how much free time I'll have this year. I'm busy with costumes for various conventions (Oh, shit, that reminds me I haven't registered yet!!), and I am planning on participating in NaNoWriMo again (I won last year!), in addition to editing a friend's manuscript for her. UGH. I'm exhausted, and it's not even September yet!
 
 
blame_my_muses
18 February 2009 @ 11:00 am

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Rampaging across the freeway, wielding buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Blame_my_muses! And she gives a booming scream:

"Hail the blood-letting! I pillage until my loins find satisfaction!"

Find out!
Enter username:
Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

 
 
blame_my_muses
18 February 2009 @ 10:09 am
So, yeah, I did some labeling, and...diagraming? So that those who were NOT in Taiwan can better visualize some of the things I described. ^____^ I started with my Host families' homes... You'll understand soon about the whole....disaster...that was Heating's.




All the sqaures around the edge of Heating's apartment is CRAP and JUNK that was piled up. The two rectangles across from my corner were the computer desks. >..< See how that was a problem? *le sigh*

LURVED my second host family, though. ^________^ They were wonderful, and didn't make me pose for pictures in front of stupid fancy cars...




The MRT System! It's a lot bigger than it looks here, and the distances are a lot further. For example, if you cut across the white empty space from Linguang to Taipei City Hall station, it takes about two hours on foot? If I remember right... If you take the MRT, however, it takes about fifteen minutes. ^______^ Just ask some of my friends (who shall remain nameless). I'm sure THEY remember... *evil grin*

It's all cold and snowy here, and -- though pretty -- I really REALLY dislike it on principle. We had this wonderful thaw last week, and now it's all come back with a vengeance. *sad*

That said, my New Year's Resolution is to do more outside activities this year...I'm waiting till the weather is nicer, though, 'cause I want to kayak, mostly. ^____^ I didn't get to go out even ONCE last year! That's just not cool. So, yeah...

Nick, did you start looking into colleges out west for me? lol. Surprisingly, my mom didn't object when I mentioned the possibility to her. *grins*
 
 
My muses claim that reality isn't important. People disagree, so I'll tell you where I am physically: College
My emotions tell me that I feel: awakeawake
 
 
 
blame_my_muses
26 September 2008 @ 07:13 pm
1. Copy and post in your journal.
2. Bold anything that is true.
3. Leave plain anything that is not true.
4. Add something.

001. I miss somebody right now.
002. I watch more tv than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own a home.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.
008. I've done something illegal.
009. I've watched porn movies.
010. I have been in a threesome.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I like my handwriting.
013. I have acne-free skin.
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. I have a hobby.
018. I've been to another country.
019. I carry my knife/razor/whip/pipe/sword/whatever weapon you want here everywhere with me.
020. I'm really, really smart.
021. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
023. I love rain.
024. I'm paranoid at times.
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. I need money right now.
027. I love sushi.
028. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have long hair.
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one Brother and/or Sister.
033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
034. I shave my legs.
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
038. I like the way that I look.
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings.
043. I think prostitution should be legalized.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
045. I have cheated on a significant other.
046. I have a hidden talent.
047. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I've been sexually intimate with less than ten people
049. I am currently single.
050. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
051. I enjoy talking on the phone.
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would classify myself as ghetto.
056. I'm bourgeoisie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I'm obsessed with my diary.
058. I don't hate anyone.
059. I'm a pretty good dancer.
060. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
061. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a cell phone.
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I have never been in a real relationship before.
068. I've rejected someone before.
069. I currently have a crush on someone.
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future.
072. I have changed a diaper before.
073. I've had the cops called on me before.
074. I bite my nails.
075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
076. I'm not allergic to anything deadly.
077. I have a lot to learn.
078. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
080. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
081. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
082. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. I have been rejected by someone.
084. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
085. I own the "South Park" movie.
086. I have avoided work to play on OD.
087. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
088. I enjoy country music.
089. I really care about my best friends.
090. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
091. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
092. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
093. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
096. Halloween is awesome.
097. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and like it.
098. I have dated a close friend's ex.
099. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. I've had a crush on somebody you have never met.
102. I've kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating on something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in "lust" more than in "love."
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest movies/books ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the tv show "The O.C."
111. I am resentful that I have to grow up.
112. I am an entirely different person around different people.
113. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.
114. I think ramen is one of the best foods in the whole world.
115. I am suffering of a broken heart.
116. I am a nerd.
117. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I always seem to be lonely.
118. I am left handed and proud of it.
119. I try not to change who I am for someone.
120. My heart resides below my feet.
121. I have had sex with someone I was not in a relationship with.
122. I enjoy smoothies.
123. I have had major surgery.
124. I have adopted a pet from the SPCA.
125. I am listening to Radiohead right now.
126. Some people call me by a nickname.
127. I once stole a music stand.
128. I like pumpkin pie.
129. I love NASCAR!
130. I own over 200 CDs.
131. I work 7 days a week.
132. I have mono.
132. I don't have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.
132.5. I have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.
133. People tell me I have a horrible sense of humor.
134. I'm still in my PJs.
135. I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.
136. I have a tendency to fall for the wrong boys, or have them fall for me, so I can't help but reciprocate.
137. I'll try anything three times.
138. Done drugs other than alcohol or cannabis.
139. I'm having trouble sleeping.
140. I am a cuddler.
141. I love John Waters films.
142. I have made a pornographic videotape.
143. Sloth is my favorite deadly sin.
144. One of my boobs is bigger than the other
145. I know all the words to the "Firefly" theme song.
146. I love Dr. Pepper
147. I'm a programmer.
148. I can't explain why I'm unhappy at times.
149. I own and have read all of the Harry Potter books.
150. I like to smell my own hair.
151. I carry a book with me almost everywhere I go.
152. I have an eating disorder.
153. I have flown to a different country to see a band.
154. I have been hospitalized for "mental issues".
155. I have survived totaling a car I was driving.
156. I am addicted to a Manga/anime.
157. Somehow I always seem to get myself into trouble
158. I have dated someone for longer than 5 years
159. I love Eric Szmanda
160. I have lived in three different countries.
161. I have tattoos
162. I have lost someone I cared about deeply.
163. I've filled out an obscenely long quiz.
164. I am not human until I have had some form of caffeine.
165. I cannot use can openers.
166. I can write with both hands.
167. I Heart Taking back Sunday.
168. I can’t sit still for more than an hour.
169. I get writer's block a lot.
170. I don't deserve to be here as much as my brother.
171. I've tried to commit susicide.
172. I hate my life, even though I know I shouldn't.
173. I feel like I have no chance with any one.
174. I use the term "that's stupid" a lot.
175. I have a crush on someone I know I shouldn't.
176. I've seen a close friend 'nekkid'.
176.5 (And I liked it...)
177. I lied on this. Only once though.
178. I eat most everything with chopsticks.
179. I have a secret love for musicals.
180. I can speak more than one language with relative fluency.
 
 
blame_my_muses
24 September 2008 @ 12:53 pm
My boredom is eating me from the inside. ^___^ It's okay, I'll get over it.

I have a Rotary...thing...tomorrow. I get to talk to possible exchangees about RYE, and I'll get to babble about Taiwan to people who probably haven't heard any of it yet. Yay!!

That totally beats going to work, or going to school (though, really, I don't mind either).

I have to get my stuff together in a wheel-able bag, since I have to walk to the school from Java's, early in the morning. I need my uniform, my Qin Po, some of my text books (those should scare them! Lol), and my Rotary jacket -- the most important part. *grins* I need to steal my External HD back from Craig, since it has my photos on it. I think I'll put some in a folder, and just play them as a slideshow....with or without music. I may make a playlist to play in the bg... Probably will. Lots of foreign music. ^____^
 
 
My muses claim that reality isn't important. People disagree, so I'll tell you where I am physically: NMC
My emotions tell me that I feel: busybusy
 
 
blame_my_muses
12 June 2007 @ 09:42 pm
So, a week or so back, we were walking towards Ben's apartment in the early evening. His new host family is near 101 -- across the road, in fact -- so that was all lit up. But there was something different about it.

Lit up in huge letters on all four sides were the words, "Marry me, Diana?"

Isn't that sweet!?

300,000 USD to put that question up there. Somebody out-bid this huge international technology convention for the space.

We were all hoping for a "She said yes" to follow it, but that'd be another 300,000.....lol.

I go home in ten days. Oh. My. God. *blinks* That's........so soon. And I'm so unprepared. I'm not really packed....not entirely. I've been trying to pack, but I just get all depressed when I start, so I haven't been making much progress.

I drank some of the last of my French Vanilla tea last night, and chatted with Elly this morning......

It feels so surreal.

I mean...I know I said that about leaving FOR Taiwan -- to come here -- but it almost feels more-so now. Like.... "Has it really been a year?? Are my ten months already up?" I feel distant from myself. Like, if I pay attention to things like dates, I'll want to cry, or something.

How long until I'll get to see my exchange friends again?

Read more...Collapse )

Um. I'm done now. I'll post in a few days....maybe. Definitely there will be a Last Post before I go.

<3 you all,
~Kallen
 
 
My muses claim that reality isn't important. People disagree, so I'll tell you where I am physically: Taipei, Taiwan
The Voices in my head are singing: Lacrymosa, Evanescence
 
 
blame_my_muses
05 June 2007 @ 09:23 pm
I'm a horrible person, I know.

Read more...Collapse )

Gonna end this now. See you all soon!

~Kallen
 
 
My muses claim that reality isn't important. People disagree, so I'll tell you where I am physically: Taipei, Taiwan
My emotions tell me that I feel: anxiousanxious
The Voices in my head are singing: Hoist the Colours, from PotC3
 
 
blame_my_muses
28 May 2007 @ 01:54 am
At Kiki's insistence....

Non-slash:
The Stranger Trilogy, Part One
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/stranger_trilogy/files/A%20Stranger%20in%20an%20Unholy%20Land/


Slash:
The Dragon Games (I can't actually remember if this is slash or not...)
http://www.fictionalley.org/authors/rent_serenity/TDG.html


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